Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

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What sock do you put on last?

The one that's left.

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

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How many Hipster's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Oh, just some number you've probably never heard of.

How many introverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Why does it have to be a group activity?

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why does no one want to work in the yard with a carpenter?

Because they take a fence to that.

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

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Why did the carpenter's wife leave him?

He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her.

Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.