Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes?

It would only admit one.

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Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

Admit Jokes More Admit Jokes

Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.

Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

A: They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

Convict Jokes More Convict Jokes

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!

How are a full count in baseball and a mutated 2 time convict the same?

They both have 3 balls and 2 strikes.