Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Why couldn't the witch get pregnant?

Her husband had a holloween-ie.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?

Jail-birds !

Why did the pigeon get thrown in jail?

For staging a coo

Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

What crime did the tree commit to be put in tree jail?

Treeson

Why was everybody too afraid to go to the barber?

He committed barbercide.

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Where are you at?

Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.

Who him?

Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS.