Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors?

Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!

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What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

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Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window?

He was a cereal defenestrator.

What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath?

throw a load of dirty laundry in.