Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.

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Why did the king have his landscaper hanged?

For planning high trees, son.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

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Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan?

The Twin Towers.

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Why did the engineer buy a mattress?

To sleep under it

Why did Timmy fall off his bike?

Because Bill threw a mattress at him.