Twin Jokes

What's the best part about dating a twin?

Nobody can judge you on your age difference.

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What did the black intellectual name her twins?

Entendre and....Entendre!

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lanisters make large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Where do twin lesbians party?

Klondike Bar

How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.

Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.

What do you call Afghan triplets?

Twins! I am so sorry....

What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

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Where do twin lesbians meet up?

A Clone Dyke Bar.

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan?

The Twin Towers.

What is the height of honesty?

A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

What do you call a pair of twins who live together?

Womb-mates"

What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A: A pair of Re-bachs.

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?

She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash?

Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery boss?

Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a double-cross.

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Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

Whats the best place to drive to in Iowa?

The Middle. That way, you're always driving out of Iowa.

Tow Jokes More Tow Jokes

Why are chorus girls like barge horses?

They have to tow the line!

Why did Nobelium's car got towed away?

He parked at a parking!

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?

Odour in court!

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

What were the 2 doctors who worked with Schrodinger called?

A *paradox.*

Conjoin Jokes More Conjoin Jokes

What do you call conjoined twins with the same name?

Sharron.

What is the political correct term for hipster?

conjoined twins.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford?

So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.

Who was that at the door?

Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. "

King Jokes More King Jokes

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

What to Australian Trains use as fuel?

Coal-Ala