Why's the necrophiliac's blow up doll half inflated?

So he can pretend she's decomposing.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple?

Finding a vein in a hot dog.

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

Why's the necrophiliac's blow up doll half inflated?

So he can pretend she's decomposing.

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

Decompose Jokes More Decompose Jokes

What is mozart doing nowadays?

Decomposing

What's Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's decomposing.

Inflate Jokes More Inflate Jokes

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

A: Inflate it.

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!