Why should we make Gabe Newell president?

There won't be any World War 3. #gaben2k16

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Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

What's Gabe Newell's favourite game?

Angry Nerds

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Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

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Why did Europe start the first World War?

They did't like being sans-Ferdinand.

What did the poles do during world war two?

They held the telephone wires off the ground.