Gabe Newell Jokes

Why should we make Gabe Newell president?

There won't be any World War 3. #gaben2k16

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What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What's Gabe Newell's favourite game?

Angry Nerds

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Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

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Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again.

How many Americans does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. Their President outsources the job to India.

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To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

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It was done in A minor.

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Nice try, too old for the coin trick" "No it's a tumor" "Oh my god" "Kidding it's a quarter"

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What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying :'(

What happened to the joke that insulted the mods?

People laughed, because it was a good joke.

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Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

What kind of light makes the best US president?

A blinkin' light

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Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

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A Global Offensive.

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What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?

We wouldn't have to pay her as much.