Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What is it like, to be standing at the foot of an empty grave, not knowing who will one day be in it?

Unbereavable.

Why don't we see more midget actors?

I guess you can say that they are in short supply these days.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What do you call a number that won't sit still?

A roamin' numeral. :P

How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon?

Intersect it with a plane.

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

How do depressed people lighten' up?

They drink bleach.

What's life like with alchohol?

Depressing. What's life like without alchohol? Depressing. I need friends.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...