How about an autograph mate?

Sure." He replied. So I signed a photo print of myself and gave it to him.

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Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".

What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats?

Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.

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What's a holocaust?

And I reply "Oh, about eleven million"

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."