How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife?

She went to the battered women's shelter

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What was the man running around ?

from my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep.

What do you get when you sleep with all 140 characters of twitter?

A rashtag.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

He was already taking out a tooth

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is Caitlyn Jenner's favorite song?

More than a Woman by the BeeGees

How is a woman who got her winter coat at Target similar to an officer on leave?

They both got their fur low.

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."