How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac?

He's always HARD at work.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the most intense part of your work out?

Me: Getting into my sports bra.

Why do women like men who can work on cars?

They know how to work under the hood!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the pirate tell his littler sister when she asked if she could hold his parrot?

ISIS

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

What happens when a necrophiliac goes to a funeral?

He gets mourning wood.

What's the best part of being a necrophiliac?

In the bedroom, it doesn't take much effort to make your lover's jaw drop.

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.