What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

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What do necrophiliacs get at funerals?

Mourning wood.

Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

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What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

What do you call a sad tree?

Mourning wood

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What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

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What did one priest say to the other priest?

Do you know where my son is " "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one