How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic?

Because Americans use imperial unit system.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What did the coffee shop owner's wife say when she discovered he wasn't using Free Trade beans?

That's grounds for divorce!"

American Jokes More American Jokes

What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?

Bilingual What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks only 1 language? American.

What do Americans and Putin have in common?

They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

Martian Jokes More Martian Jokes

How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic?

Because Americans use imperial unit system.

Where did the Martian put his teacup?

On his flying saucer.