What do Americans and Putin have in common?

They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What did Sam say to the young Americans?

Guess where this finger's going."

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

Because they don't have 2 towers.

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

How long does it take Putin to give his car an oil change?

Nyet long. He's always Russian.

What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine?

Cri-me-a river!"

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why don't turkey vultures ever lose their luggage?

They only ...

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

Why do asians squint all the time?

Because nukes are so bright