How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

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What does a mathematician do about constipation?

Sits down and works it out with a pencil.

How was the movie?

Brian: A real turkey. I could hardly sit through it the second time!

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Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.