Rip Jokes

What do you call an Arab who has a ripped body??

Osama Bin Liftin

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How did Jesus get so ripped?

He does crossfit.

What happens when redditors die?

RIP in box

How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A FROG? rip.

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Whole Foods?

Ripped off.

What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll?

People keep ripping me off.

What do you call a bad hairdresser who is also very expensive?

A rip-off.

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP

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Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

because they were a rip off

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

Who would win in a fight?

A bicycle wheel or an old book Well, it's hard to say. One's pumped and the other's ripped.

What did the vegetarian do to get ripped?

He juiced...

What's the fastest way to get a ripped body?

Take highwhey.

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident?

That's offal

What do you call it when a king rips a fart?

Air to the throne.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

What do you call a cheap vasectomy?

A rip off.

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

What do you call it when you get ripped from steroid use?

Ill-gotten gains

What did the drifter say to the person he hit ?

RIP my E-brake

Where did Christ get his ripped abs?

Cross fit

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

It reads "Small medium at large."

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Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

Why cant we interpret what frogs are saying?

They only speak in Morse-toad!

What did one frog say to the other?

Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

What do a tornado and a black man have in common?

They both can ruin a neighborhood.

How can you tell if a tornado is stupid?

If it spins anti-cyclonically

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

What's better than watching a woman wrestle?

Seeing her box.

What do you call a box with a treasure location?

a xbox.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did Karl Marx always buy cheap tea?

Because he believed that all proper tea was theft.

Where do military chaplains buy their regalia?

At the army surplice store.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do men struggle to urinate with an erection?

It's just too hard.

What superhero would a (insert stereotype here) man be?

Batman. Why Because he can't go out at night without Robin!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!

Why did the foot smile?

He was toe very happy. Jesus that is awful.

Sweep Jokes More Sweep Jokes

Why was the broom late to the meeting?

It over swept

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?

Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

Excite Jokes More Excite Jokes

What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.