How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

Why did the banker resign?

His customers lost interest in him.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you know your girlfriend is too young?

She only puckers up for her pacifier.

Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom?

Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Where does the Lone Ranger take his trash?

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump.

What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took?

A No. 2 pencil.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

What time was it when Jared got fired?

When the big hand touched the little hand