How did the farmer figure out how much milk he had?

He used cowculus!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use a bathroom?

The p is silent.

What batteries do turtles use?

Durashells

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What's the best part about marrying a farmer?

You get to grow old together.

Why are farmers so afraid of aliens?

Tractor beams.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What aisle has the milk?

Sir, this is a library." *whispers* "What aisle has the milk "

What is the fastest thing in the world?

Milk. Because it's pasteurised before you see it.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

What's so dark about blonde jokes?

They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.