How do mountainers send messages?

By ski-mail.

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How can you tell when a fax has been sent by a blonde?

When there's a stamp on it.

Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange?

Because the lime was engaged.

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Why is it difficult to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?

Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.

What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?

To e or not to e that is the question.