How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?

A: Replace the nails with screws.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb they screw in a hot tub.

How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

What happened when Jesus 'screwed' around?

He got *nailed*.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?

His balk was worse than his bite!

What do you call it when you turn into a vampire before being bitten?

Premature Edraculation

Ghoul Jokes More Ghoul Jokes

What is the best way to speak to a ghoul?

A: From a long ways away.

How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?

A: Replace the nails with screws.

Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb?

None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.