How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a sentinel with three hands?

A watchman.

Why is my hand 11 inches long?

Because if it were any longer it would be a foot!

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What do you call a young plastic covered sheep?

Laminated

Why don't Arab women need Insurance?

Because they are already covered.

Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

What do vegan zombies crave?

GRRAAAAINS!!

How do most vegans die?

Malnutrition.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ?

Anything you want as he can't hear you !

What do you get if you put 20 blondes in a row standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

Offend Jokes More Offend Jokes

How do you offend a white person?

Tell them they can't make racist jokes.

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.