How do you stop joint pain?

Turn it around.

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Why is Mike Pence magic?

He can turn fruits to vegetables

What do you say when an episode of explosive diarrhoea turns into a round of smooth poop?

What a wondrous *turd* of events.

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Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

How do you stop the government from making a pipeline across your land?

You Sioux them.