How does a Chinese man start a religious video?

Press pray.

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How does a ghost start a letter?

Tomb it may concern.

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

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What does a noise musician order at a Chinese restaurant?

Peaking duck!

What do you call the definitive book on Chinese culture?

The Hanbook

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How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno, ask the Kids.

How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway.