What are your best family friendly Christmas jokes?

I need some for tonight.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did Santa get the day after Christmas?

Diabetes

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why was Homer Simpson in such a rush to get to the Kwik-E-Mart?

He desperately needed Apu.

What did the LGBT art teacher tell the kids to use when their projects needed glue ?

wait for it ... wait for it ...) brucilage !!!!!!!!

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

Who's there ! Chile ! Chile who?

Chile out tonight !