What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife?

Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."

What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

What is that white thing in my pork&beans?

The Queen Bean. *Blatantly stolen from Ren & Stimpy

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What do you call cute seeds?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me

What did the Nuclear Engineer get for his birthday?

Yellow Cake

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

What do you call a government consisted of burglars?

A thiefdom.

What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ?

Robbery with violets !