What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why is she so loud?

Wife: That's how she talks. Apparently she speaks fluent pterodactyl.

What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car?

Dual air bags.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Who stole the golden necklace? Was it a High Elf, a Nord or a Khajiit?

The Khajiit.

Which birds steal soap from the bath ?

Robber ducks !

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday?

I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents

Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?

To prove that he was framed!

Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.