What did the roach say after a series of disappointing hotel stays?

This is my last resort.

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What's the difference between most complex life forms, and the internet?

Most complex life forms are a tube within a tube, and the internet is more like a series of tubes.

What did the roach say after a series of disappointing hotel stays?

This is my last resort.

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What did the muslim man say when he arrived at his resort in Hawaii?

Aloha Snackbar!

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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What's the only thing worse than finding a roach in your food?

Finding half of a roach in your food.

Why would atomic weapons be useless against Turkish rebels?

Because roaches can survive nuclear radiation.