What do Abraham Lincoln and Ryan Fitzpatrick have in common?

Neither of them can finish a play

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Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started?

Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects

Why should I drink Mr. Pibb?

He didn't even finish grad school.

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How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?

Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots

When Greek people play a video game, what settings do they use?

Default

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address?

Because he's dead.