Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates?

They don't want to be ostrich-sized!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

What size box of condoms do you never want to buy?

The family size.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly?

They want to finish before it's cool.

What do the racehorse that finished in second and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

Plate Jokes More Plate Jokes

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

What do you call a resturaunt for bulemia victims?

The Empty Plate"

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why don't cannibals have dogs?

Because you're not supposed to feed them people food.

How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food?

By giving her a Brazilian wax first!