What do Ted Cruz and a tenage girl's bedroom have in common?

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How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Why is Chuck Norris still alive?

Credit: Saw the comment in this 1:55

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What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.