How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why are modern women more likely to pursue a STEM degree?

They need to learn scientific notation to keep track of their n-count.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

How do you know Putin is late for Thanks Giving?

He's Russian to Turkey.

What is the name of Turkey's most beloved actor?

Muslim Bale

Grandma Jokes More Grandma Jokes

What's the name of that German guy that keeps hiding my stuff around the house?

Alzheimer, Grandma.

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

How Obsessed am I with Harry Potter?

9 3/4 *Credit goes to a tee shirt I saw. I'm not that witty.*

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven at three fifty tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened.

Whats the hardest part about cooking vegetable?

getting the wheelchair in the oven.

30 Minute Jokes More 30 Minute Jokes

How do you hear a hormone?

Pay $100 for 30 minutes

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)