What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

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What's the difference between a tribe of clever pygmies and a girls' track team?

One is a group of cunning runts.

What do you call a group of Idiots?

Congress

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How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well it depends on what you mean by change.

What did the philosopher say to his coworker?

Cleanup on the detergent aisle"

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How do you end an argument with a woman?

Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.