Argument Jokes

What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

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When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A?

You da bomb" "No, you da bomb!"

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

What is a bigot?

A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal.

Why did Christopher Reeve lose the debate?

Because his arguments against scrutiny.

What is a rift valley?

Valleys that have fallen out after an argument.

Why shouldnt you ever have an argument with Mbius?

Because theyre always so one sided!

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

What do you get when an argument occurs on a camping trip?

A tents atmosphere

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What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument?

Good point

What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're?

ad homonym

What's not there when you get into an argument, but there when you lose the argument?

The door.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.

How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument?

They went outside and exchanged blows.

Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary?

Because they'll always have the last word.

What do you call a guy who can't get a word in edgewise during an argument?

A "moderator", apparently.

Why do mimes always lose arguments?

They don't have a say in anything!

Why shouldn't you ever have an argument with Mobius?

Because they're always so one sided!

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

What runs forever and never dies?

An argument with a woman! And I'm in one right now.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

How do you end an argument with a woman?

Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.

What is a misogynist?

A misogynist is anyone winning an argument with a feminist.

How to win an argument with a deaf girl?

Turn off the lights.

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What's the term for when the pool breaks during water birth?

A midwife crisis.

How I broke my cat's knees?

With rude eyes.

Woman Argument Jokes More Woman Argument Jokes

What's the difference between a woman's argument and a knife?

A knife has a point.

What's the difference between a women's argument and a knife?

The knife has a point !

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a 5 and a 2?

What's the difference between a camel and a Russian?

A camel can walk for 30 days without drinking but a Russian can drink for 30 days without walking.

Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to get up on his high horse and another to chastise the first about oppressing horses.

What do vegan zombies crave?

GRRAAAAINS!!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde ?

A jet setter !

Liberal Jokes More Liberal Jokes

What's the difference between a racist and a liberal?

Gullibility

Why is Reddit full of liberals?

All the conservatives are out working.

Person Shoe Jokes More Person Shoe Jokes

What's the difference between an introverted mathematician and an extroverted mathematician?

The extrovert looks at the other person's shoes.

What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument?

He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What starts with "p," ends with "s," and is really long?

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

I'm stumped."