What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.

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How much do you think I will be losing with this?

Pharmacist replies: Well ... around 200 bucks.

Why is Jennie McCarthy so bad at RPG's?

The last time her son had a healing potion he lost 15 IQ Points.

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How do men in New Zealand address their women?

Hey! Ewe!"

What do you call a man with no will to live?

Willis.

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How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.