What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

How do you get elected president of my pants?

By the vote of the Erectional College...

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

What does British toilet paper and John Wayne have in common?

It's rough, and tough, and doesn't take any crap.

Speech Jokes More Speech Jokes

Why was the schwa bad at giving speeches?

He said "uhh" way too much.

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech?

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech? Give me a moment...ummmm.(momentum)