What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did John Lennon get shot?

because Mark Chapman was a terrible shot, and kept missing Yoko.

How do you stop a Polish battletank?

Shoot the guy pushing it.

Casino Jokes More Casino Jokes

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

Because they, like, can't even deal.

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

Blast Jokes More Blast Jokes

Who makes the best Astronauts?

Team Rocket since they're always blasting off.

What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party?

Go on, have a blast.

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common?

You break them at the middle and load them from behind

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What's so meta that you almost crap your pants?

Metamucil

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend?

No new messages.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."

How was work?

flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good