What do you call an angry, seafaring mathematician?

rate!!!

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How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

Why was the mathematician late for work?

He took the rhombus.

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Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

Why is Texas the "Lone Star" state?

It was rated out of five.