What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt?

Lacoste intolerant.

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How do you pick out the Christian Terrorist out of a crowd?

Find the guy wearing a rebel flag.

How do you know that Santa is a man?

No woman wears the same attire every year.

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What do you call it when you meet somebody in a bathroom at a conference?

Pee-er to pee-er networking (P2P).

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.