What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

Previous Random Joke Next
Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog.

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What do you do when a horse breaks down?

Call triple neighhh!

What did the horse say when he fell over?

Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What is twitter?

3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

They always take things literally.

What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand?

Hobos

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

There is no sound... The P is silent.

What sound does a Baroque chicken make?

Bach Bach Bach Bach

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?

Somebody took a corner!

How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon?

Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you say about a pig who acquires a lot of cash?

He's making bankon.

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

Because he felt like BACON!

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

Neigh Jokes More Neigh Jokes

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.

What does the horse call the pigs on his farm?

Neigh-boars.