What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

How are an armless man at a buffet and a kleptomaniac the same?

They just can't help themselves.

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally