What do you call someone with March Madness who doesn't even like basketball?

A hypochondriac

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How long does it take a necrophiliac to screw in a light bulb?

Not long... they like to do it while it's still warm.

Why do programmers like to concatenate time stamps?

It's the only way they can get a string of dates.

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Why doesn't Jesus play basketball?

He got crossed up.

What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ?

A bouncing baby boa !

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What do you call someone with March Madness who doesn't even like basketball?

A hypochondriac

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.