What do you do if you're lost in an Icelandic forest?

Stand up!

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What's the only thing you can say when the Chinese Restaurant over booked your reservation?

Welp. You dim sum, you lose some

What's the difference between my virginity and the Apple Airphones?

Losing my virginity wouldn't cost me as much.

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Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate?

I'm staunchly pro-volone.

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.