What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

What's the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender?

Answer: There's always a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers