What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)