Kermit Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

What are green and smell like pork?

Kermit's fingers

What's slimy, long and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger.

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit The Frog's fingers.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What do Kermit The Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frog's finger...

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

A: Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song?

Whib It" by Devo.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger

What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

How do frogs die?

They kermit sucide

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers"

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frog's finger

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green, fuzzy, and stinks of pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

How do frogs die ?

They kermit suidide !

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?

Kermit the Fog !

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ?

They always want to play leap frog with him

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Kermit Finger Jokes More Kermit Finger Jokes

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

Middle Finger Jokes More Middle Finger Jokes

Why did Tony cross the road?

To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How long did you spend on your cosplay?

Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked "Casual"*

What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand?

O Cristor Redundant

Green Jokes More Green Jokes

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What's hotter, green or red peppers?

Green "Nope. Green."

Slimy Jokes More Slimy Jokes

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

A: Kermit the Frog's Finger

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't ewoks yell in the house?

Because they have to use their Endor voices.

What do bees use to do their hair?

Honeycombs!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do hipsters never die?

Because everyone does that already.

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now