What does earth say to the other planets?

You have no life

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest?

They're always eager for more on their pate.

What did Hillary say when she lost?

Putin end to my life.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What are the two oldest animals on Earth?

The Zebra and the Panda. Because we see them in black and white.

Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks?

They're Meteor!

Planet Jokes More Planet Jokes

How does our solar system organize a party?

They Planet

How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid?

You planet early.