Planet Jokes

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

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Why are asteroids so strong when they hit the planet?

Because they take a steroid.

How do your organize a space party?

You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)

What planet smells the worst?

Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it.

How do we confirm life on another planet?

If you find a rare Pepe drawn the disk.

How does our solar system organize a party?

They Planet

How does NASA organise a party?

They Planet.

How many Duggars does it take to screw a planet?

EOM

What type of jokes do planets tell each other?

Cosmic jokes.

What is the coolest food on the planet?

Burr-ito!

How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?

Planet

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What's it called when a planet orbits its sun 8 times?

An orbyte

How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid?

You planet early.

How do astronomers plan a party?

they planet.

What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?

A: A Dinosaucer

Why is it so hard to throw a party in space?

Because you have to planet.

What did earth say to the other planet?

You guys have no life!"

What's the most cleanest animal on the planet?

A Hygiena.

What did earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!

Why is milk the fastest liquid on the planet?

It's pasteurised before you can see it!

What does earth say to the other planets?

You have no life

When he grow up, he will ask me, "Dad, did you name me after a planet?

And i will be like, "No:("

Where is everybody?

Everybody I don't know. All over the planet I guess.

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

What do planets do to follow each other on SpaceTube?

Sunscribe.

Which songs do planets sing?

Neptunes.

What do you call a dog from another planet?

A dal-martian

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

Why is Mickeys dog named Pluto?

Because hes not a planet.

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

What's the first step to throwing a space party?

You planet.

How do you organize an outer space party?

You planet

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

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Why do Russians always wear track suits?

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What's the difference between Batman and Martin Brodeur?

Batman isn't wearing hockey pads.

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NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

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What is the name of the new game show hosted by Katt Williams?

Are You Stronger Than A 7th Grader

What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character?

An elven degenerate.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why does it smell of tires?

There are two black people fighting.

What do you call someone who believes rotten eggs smell bad, but doesn't care?

An eggsy-stench-alist.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What should you do when life gives you melons?

Get tested for dyslexia.

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

Take us to your liter."

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call it when you use Icy Hot as lube?

Fire in the hole!

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be....."