Planet Jokes

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

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Why are asteroids so strong when they hit the planet?

Because they take a steroid.

How do your organize a space party?

You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)

What planet smells the worst?

Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it.

How do we confirm life on another planet?

If you find a rare Pepe drawn the disk.

How does our solar system organize a party?

They Planet

How does NASA organise a party?

They Planet.

How many Duggars does it take to screw a planet?

EOM

What type of jokes do planets tell each other?

Cosmic jokes.

What is the coolest food on the planet?

Burr-ito!

How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?

Planet

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What's it called when a planet orbits its sun 8 times?

An orbyte

How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid?

You planet early.

How do astronomers plan a party?

they planet.

What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?

A: A Dinosaucer

Why is it so hard to throw a party in space?

Because you have to planet.

What did earth say to the other planet?

You guys have no life!"

What's the most cleanest animal on the planet?

A Hygiena.

What did earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!

Why is milk the fastest liquid on the planet?

It's pasteurised before you can see it!

What does earth say to the other planets?

You have no life

When he grow up, he will ask me, "Dad, did you name me after a planet?

And i will be like, "No:("

Where is everybody?

Everybody I don't know. All over the planet I guess.

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

What do planets do to follow each other on SpaceTube?

Sunscribe.

Which songs do planets sing?

Neptunes.

What do you call a dog from another planet?

A dal-martian

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

Why is Mickeys dog named Pluto?

Because hes not a planet.

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

What's the first step to throwing a space party?

You planet.

How do you organize an outer space party?

You planet

What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

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Space Jokes More Space Jokes

What did the space between two tiles say?

I AM GROUT

What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb?

Hair-vents.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

How is life in North Korea?

I wrote to my North Korean pen pal "I can't complain" he wrote back.

What is the saddest thing in you're life?

That you clicked on this link only to correct my grammer....

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

Take us to your liter."

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do Asians execute white people?

They cut off their heads using a Gweilotine.

What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby?

I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.

Atmosphere Jokes More Atmosphere Jokes

Why don't they have a concert on the moon?

No atmosphere

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?

A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

Steroid Jokes More Steroid Jokes

Why are asteroids so strong when they hit the planet?

Because they take a steroid.

What do you call 2 chainz on steroids?

2-Gainz

Host Jokes More Host Jokes

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character?

An elven degenerate.

Liter Jokes More Liter Jokes

Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze?

So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.

Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements?

The liter.