What happens when the USSR gets back together?

A Soviet Reunion.

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What happened to the tree when the lumber jack hit on it?

It got all sappy

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

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What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?

A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

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What's USSR favourite Pink Floyd's Album?

The Wall. pls don't pitchfork me

Why did the USSR have so many lower case letters?

Because they aren't capitalist