What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why didn't the guitarist get laid?

Because he had bad pickups

How do Ghosts lay foundations?

With a spirit level!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Who satisfies earth the most?

Sun. Because the sun goes down every night.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

What do you calla judge with no thumbs?

Justice fingers

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.