What is the best way to talk to a vampire?

By long distance.

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

Why are you always pushing me around and talking behind my back?

I said, "well, you are in a wheelchair".

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to ward off ghosts?

To which I replied: "a camera."

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What food do vampires hate?

Steaks.

Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge?

Ghouldilocks.

Long Distance Jokes More Long Distance Jokes

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.