What is the best way to talk to a vampire?

By long distance.

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

When does 2-1=0 ?

When you're talking about choices.

What do you call a jungle where animals talk about current events?

A topical rainforest.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What is the best way to determine if someone is ticklish?

Give them a "test tickle."

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Why did the vampire go to hospital?

He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.

Long Distance Jokes More Long Distance Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What's the difference between Americans and Europeans?

For an European 500 Miles is a long distance, for an American 500 years are a long History